BHO Poll YTD - YTD change 00.25 - 42.25% (ends at ??.??%)
GWB Poll YTD - YTD change 06.40 - 34.27% (ends at 23.63%)
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Late Night From 12/12
The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon
Joe Biden will assist in the 35th annual lighting of the National Menorah at the White House. When he heard that, Smokey Bear said, “Hold my calls. This is not gonna end well.”
This week Biden said that he will decide on a potential 2016 presidential campaign by the spring or the summer. Then he said, “Whichever comes first.”
During his weekly address, Pope Francis assured the crowd that all animals go to heaven. Then cats said, “Have you met us?”
Golden Globe nominations were announced, but some people are upset that “The Walking Dead” and “Modern Family” were snubbed. It’s OK. President Obama has issued an executive action granting them all a path to a nomination.
The Late Show with David Letterman
Here in New York City they have what they call a Santa pub crawl. And like 30,000 Santas, early in the morning, start going from bar to bar to bar, all day long. Last year it was won by a guy from Kenya.
A guy in Pennsylvania was arrested because he was drunk in his golf cart going from bar to bar. So they arrested him. I said: Wait a minute. Isn't that golf?
On Sunday night you can tune in to the countdown with Barbara Walters and find out who the 10 most fascinating people in the world are. And I want to tell you something, ladies and gentlemen, the suspense is eluding me.
Barbara Walters' 10 Most Fascinating People. Great, more torture.
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson
Do you know what I hate? People say "Craig, you're retiring." Whoa, I'm not retiring. I am just not doing this crap anymore.
I'm not retiring. Dave's retiring. I have more to do. I will probably do ads for local car dealers.
You have got to figure that if they bring back "Hollywood Squares" I'll be in there. I'm not saying center square. I'm not saying that.
I wish I had more time to do the monologue. But if you want jokes, there are plenty of other middle-aged white guys telling jokes on TV. It's not like, "If only there was a middle-aged white guy telling jokes. There is plenty of that."