The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon
It was just announced that two-time Olympian Gabby Douglas will be on the panel of judges at the 2017 Miss America Competition. So good luck impressing her in the talent portion. “Nice baton twirling, but can you do a triple back-flip with a twist?”
Apparently Ryan Lochte lost all four of his endorsement deals yesterday following his Rio robbery scandal. In fact he’s so desperate for money, he’s actually considering robbing a gas station.
Ryan Lochte lost all his business deals in just one day. Even Trump was like, “It took me months to do that!”
A 12-year-old boy is actually running one of Trump’s campaign offices in Colorado. When asked how an inexperienced child could be running things, the boy said, “Look, he’s the nominee and we’re stuck with him.”
KFC just unveiled a sunscreen that smells like extra crispy fried chicken. So if you want to smell like KFC ... there’s a pretty good chance you already do.
Melania Trump is planning to sue a British newspaper for defamation. Apparently, the paper called her "happily married."
Four sponsors have now dropped Olympic swimmer Ryan Lochte. On the bright side, he just signed a huge deal with Bob’s Urinal Cakes.
The GOP has already started making a strategy around the assumption that Hillary Clinton will win the presidency. Which may explain the Republican Party's new slogan: "Winter Is Coming."
An ex-NFL quarterback was arrested after being found naked with meth and marijuana. In other words, he’s back in the NFL.
KFC has released sunscreen that smells like fried chicken. People who’ve tried it say it prevents you from getting cancer and from having sex.
The Late Late Show with James Corden
In a new election bombshell, the State Department has been ordered by a federal judge to produce nearly 15,000 of Hillary Clinton's unreleased emails. I don't want to say Hillary is worried about this story blowing up, but today she asked Ryan Lochte to make up another robbery.
Journalists have tried contacting Hillary about this damaging email development. Unfortunately, they keep getting auto-replies that say "Sorry, I am out of the Oval Office until January."
In other Clinton news, her campaign manager, Robby Mook, said in an interview on CNN that they are having a hard time finding someone as "hateful" and "divisive" as Trump to go up against Hillary in her practice debates. It seems like it'd be easy to prep for a Trump debate — just get a parrot and train it to say three things: "email," "wall," and "huge."frameborder="0" allowfullscreen>