BHO Poll YTD - YTD change 03.00 - 45.75% (ends at ??.??%)
GWB Poll YTD - YTD change (01.77) - 32.50% (lowest at 23.63%)
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Late Night From 09/11
The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon
President Obama awarded a National Medal of Arts to author Stephen King. You know, because if there’s anyone who can relate to the story of a guy trapped in a mansion that’s driving him insane, it’s Obama.
Keurig announced that they are now offering pre-packaged cups that let you make instant Campbell’s Soup in their coffee machines. It's great for the person who wants to enjoy a cup of soup, then enjoy a cup of coffee that tastes a little bit like soup.
Yeah, Keurig is now offering cups that let you make Campbell’s Soup in their coffee machines. You know, for the weirdos who are like, “Don’t even TALK to me till I’ve had my first bowl of soup in the morning! Ahhhh! Now where were we?”
Jimmy Kimmel Live
Right now in New York it is Fashion Week, which is also known as “watch hungry women walk week.” Fashion Week, for those who aren't familiar, is the week that answers the question: How many emaciated teenagers will it take to convince someone to spend $10,000 on a dress?
You know the machines they have at Chuck E. Cheese where you lower the claw and you don't get a stuffed animal? Well, in Frisco, Texas, this week, a 6-year-old girl got stuck inside one. She said her older sister double dog dared her to do it. It's something parents need to be aware of. Please if you are a parent, pay attention to this important message. The claw machine: Harmless arcade game, or impenetrable kiddie prison?
If you watched the NFL game, the Patriots beat the Steelers. And once again, there is a cheating-related controversy. The coaches for the Steelers said they couldn't hear each other through the headsets because the Patriots radio broadcast was blasting into their ears for almost the first half of the game which made it impossible for them to communicate … it was kind of like they got beat by Drake.
Late Night With Seth Meyers
After Donald Trump attacked him on several issues yesterday, second-place GOP candidate Dr. Ben Carson told reporters he “didn’t want to get into a gladiator fight” with Trump. Especially since Trump comes with his own helmet.
In an interview with CNN, Bernie Sanders said that he was stunned by the success he has had in the presidential race. That’s right, he’s stunned by his own success — and not, as I had assumed, a Taser.
Earlier this week, a woman in Taiwan fulfilled her husband’s last wishes and invited strippers to perform at his funeral. She said it was the least she could do, because when he asked for strippers at his funeral, she murdered him.
A farmer in India is claiming that he’s made over $1 million in the last four years by selling bull semen. Though you probably know it by its Hindi name, Mountain Dew.
A mother in London was caught by police giving her daughter almost $500 worth of cocaine for her 18th birthday. Wow, $500 worth? Don’t spend it all in one face.
The Late Show with Stephen Colbert
I've been touched by the outpouring of support from other late night shows. Jimmy Kimmel bought the whole staff lunch. Seth Meyers sent us guac and chips. Conan, John Oliver, Larry Wilmore and the "Daily Show" all sent us desserts. Then, later tonight, James Corden is throwing us a cocktail party. Any other shows thinking of sending us something, please make it a box of sweatpants.
Yesterday Hillary Clinton said she'd love to debate Donald Trump, and Bobby Jindal said he'd love to see over the podium.
At the beginning of the summer, everyone thought Hillary Clinton was inevitable. But right now, in New Hampshire, she's 11 points behind Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders, proving that even people in New Hampshire can't tell the difference between their state and Vermont.
Yes, Ms. Clinton is clearly qualified for the office, but to be elected, that isn't enough. You have to appear genuine. If only there was some way we could get a glimpse into the private side of Hillary Clinton -- I don't know, read her emails or something?