Jimmy Kimmel Live
Ivanka Trump is getting an office at the White House and she’s getting top-level security clearance. She will take a position in the White House where she’ll draw upon her 20 years of foreign and domestic policy experience that she gained selling sandals to Nordstrom.
Her role is that she will serve as her father’s “eyes and ears” at the White House. He doesn’t need that. He needs somebody to be his thumbs so he can stop tweeting.
Her office is on the second floor of the West Wing, not far from the Oval Office. I suspect they put her there so somebody can run and grab her in case her father decides to nuke anything. She might be the only one he’ll listen to.
Meanwhile, poor Tiffany Trump can’t even get the White House Wi-Fi password.
The president was in Louisville, Kentucky, last night. He held a rally there. Why, I’m not sure — he might be trying to sell hats he had left over from the campaign.
Late Night With Seth Meyers
The Kremlin today dismissed allegations of Russia interference in the election, [shows photo of Trump] and so did the gremlin.
President Trump signed a funding bill today that supports NASA’s efforts to explore deep space and lay the groundwork for a human mission to Mars. [shows photo of Hillary] “Ooh, me first!” said one volunteer.
Passengers on foreign airlines traveling to the U.S. from 10 airports in Muslim-majority countries have been barred from carrying electronic devices larger than a cellphone. Seems extreme, but it’s worth it if it stops even one tourist from taking pictures with an iPad.
Ivanka Trump is reportedly getting an office in the White House in addition to security clearance and government-issued communication devices. Even more unbelievable, so is Donald Trump.